Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Weekend Update://Oy Vey


Just returned to work from the longest weekend ever. Or at least the most Jewtastic weekend ever.

So much drinking....brain still hurts.

I promised myself during the week that I needed to write more, Pittsburgh especially is dying a little more everyday.

Then I take 6 days off because of family. Dedication you are my bitch.

Friday 6/5/2009://A long day at work dealing with office politics and East/West cultural clashes.

Is there some law about your boss refusing to speak English to you?

At about 8.30 PM, Sarah and I hook up with my grandmother, Bubbie, and start the long drive to Calabasas, CA. For those that don't know, that's really far, about an hour and a half of LA traffic.

We check into the Country Inn and Suites on Calabasas Road in Calabasas, CA. And that hotel Cala-sucked.

Water damage everywhere, and by extension, smelled like gym socks.

Sarah and I go to bed immediately, Bubbie stays up and drinks with relatives.

Saturday 6/6/2009:// The reason we went to Calabasas is for a Bah Mitzvah of some relative so distant I still don't even know who they are.

Bubbie got invited to an Orthodox Bar Mitzvah that morning.

So for those keeping score:

Brandon and Sarah one Bah Mitzvah at 5.oo pm
Bubbie one Bar Mitzvah at 8.00 Am and one Bah Mitzvah at 5.00pm

Bubbie's morning Bar Mitzvah was four hours long!

Again for full clarity. My family was one of the first families to become Reform Jews. That's how we roll. "Brandon, whatever do you mean by this term: Reform?" Good question, myself.

Reform Jews are Jews that said, "I'd like to be Jewish but I got shit to do." Welcome to Reform, the fully customizable religion for the Modern Jew on the Go!!!

Can't make it to Temple? That's OK!

Forgot the Prayers? That's OK!

Didn't go to Hebrew School? That's OK!

You're a Woman? That's OK!

Forget to call your Bubbie? That's still not ok!

Basically a movement in Judaism, mostly influenced by America's short attention span, started cutting out hours and hours out of our collective religious observances.

Orthodoxy isn't like that, everything is still in.

My Bubbie was blindsided by a four hour marathon she never saw coming.

Sarah and I spent the day tooling around town, going to a Farmer's Market and taking advantage of a free hotel room that we had all to ourselves.

The Bah Mitzvah we went to was 45 mins long. Goes without saying it was a Reform Service.

Then it was party time.

The Bah Mitzvah girl has very rich parents....VERY RICH. Like spent $400,000 on a reception rich.

I might write about this party later but it was obnoxious.

It did have an open bar with only top shelf liquor.

Brandon blacked out. Ended up in an elevator holding one woman's shoe. No one knows to whom it belongs.

Sunday 6/7/2009:// Hangover thou are loosed. Sarah didn't drink and spent the day nursing me back to health. Oy Vey.

Went with Bubbie to a pre wedding brunch in Calabasas. Future daughter-in-law and Mother-in-Law DO NOT GET ALONG. Painful to watch.

Drive back an hour and half to Ontario for some much needed sleep in my own bed.

Sarah decides to go shopping, I'm too exhausted/hungover. She is more tired than she thought and locks her keys in the car.

I walk 2 miles to keep her company. She was at a different gas station that was only .5 miles away.

Monday 6/8/2009:// Sarah goes to work for the morning and I go to the laundrymat.

Then at 12.00 I pick her up to...Drive to a wedding in Malibu. An hour and 45 mins away.

That's right, I have a family member that sent out invitations to a wedding on a Malibu beach. On a Monday. At 4.00 PM.

All in all the wedding was beautiful and the 50 or so miles driving up PCH on cool sunny California day made up for the driving back and forth to LA County.

One of the very, very few things I'm actually going to miss about Southern California when I get out of here.

The reception was another hour drive away in Westlake. Great food, great drinks, and every body's tension was finally released.

Brandon doesn't drink but Sarah did.

Tuesday 6/9/2009:// Hangover thou are loosed upon Sarah. I took two full days off work but Sarah took half days. Tuesday she had to go in at 1.00 pm. Spent most of the day relaxing trying to get some life back into the Mrs.

I go to the dentist and get four fillings.

Finally back at work on a Wednesday and I feel absolutely drained.

Have fun out there,
BA

1 comment:

Lady Glamis said...

This is why I don't drink. Well, there's other reasons, too, but I couldn't handle the hangovers! Glad you are back. :)