Monday, May 11, 2009

Weekend Update://A Bunch of Mothers

Among other things, this weekend was chopped full of action and adventure concerning...your mom.

That was lame.

Great weekend in the Boucher camp. The wife and I work a lot and so when we get 48 blissful hours together we tend to pack as much couple time in over the weekend as to make up for the time apart during the week. Consequently, Monday mornings are a bit stressful as we are in desperate need for more sleep.

I wouldn't change it for the world though.

On to the countdown!

May 9, 2009:// As I was driving to rescue the wife from the clutches of the demon lord Work, I was hit about the face and ears with a radio commercial promising a cloying premise.

Attend with starry eyed optimism the opening of a Swedish furniture establishment and select few will earn free credit with yon edifice.

So Sarah and I hightailed it to IKEA at 6.30 AM. Let me repeat that 6.30 AM on a Saturday. The first 1000 people through the door gets a scratcher which is worth anywhere from $10-$1000 of credit in the store.

at 6.30 we were in the upper 200's of people in line. Probably 1900 people were there when the doors opened.

Victory for the Bouchers!

We got $35 total though. So that was kind of cool.

Our Saturday pretty much was shot after that because we didn't get home until 2.00pm.

So nappy nap time.

We did find time to take the dogs to the dog park. Charlie is continuing her plan to become the strangest dog on the planet.

I am a dog person. I really am. I love their world view. Simplistic and stark. Cats annoy me.

May 10, 2009:// What do you get the mother who has everything?

Towering resentment.

I really feel bad for my wife sometimes. She is a quirky, beautiful and charming individual. She has chutzpah or personality if you will. I have never introduced her to someone who didn't immediately fall in love with her.

So I marry her because everything she is, I want to have around me all the time.

I in turn repay her with giving her the most over the top cliched bitch of a Mother-in-Law on the planet.

It's so deliberate we can't help but laugh.

So we made the obligatory trip to the mighty metropolis of San Bernardino, CA to see my grandmother and aunts. And by proximity, visit with Her.

You know that feeling of when your car is sliding into the car in front of it? Your brakes are engaged but you just can't get the car to stop. There's a pulsing in your lower spine, your heart is retreating, your mouth just drys and flecks of spittle are your only attempts at a scream?

That's dinner with my mom, only times a thousand and full of Jewish guilt.

Sorry Sarah, you really got the raw end of this marriage.

Throw in laundry and grocery shopping and you got an almost perfect weekend.

I give it three and a half screaming mothers out of 5

No comments: